Some Day

I've started to let myself think about going home. Up until very recently I've sort of ignored the fact that this deployment would end and I'd be home some day. Probably some sort of defense mechanism or something, but I've just denied myself the thoughts of going home. I haven't given up hope or anything, just sort of put it on pause. The plan to leave the end of September early October has stayed pretty steady so I guess I can count on it enough to start thinking ahead. Woo Hoo. That puts me right at about three months before my responsibilities are done and then how ever long it takes to get home and out of the Army. Not that that really matters because I've been out of the Army once before and they seemed to find me anyway. Three months will be over before I know it though.

There is still a big question as to how I'll actually get out of the Army. I didn't come here with the Brigade I'm attached to. I came along as what they call a filler. I just showed up and they put me where they wanted me. Which, oddly enough, had nothing to do with the reason I was recalled. They told us they recalled us for our job specialty but I have yet to even think about doing my real job. No matter though. I think God wanted me to be here for entirely different reasons. Anyway back to the subject at hand. When the brigade came here they sent most of their stuff earlier in conexes. You know those big semi trailer looking boxes that sit out behind Wal-Mart. I didn't get to though. I carried all my stuff with me from the start. So now I have four duffel bags and a footlocker worth of stuff and you're only allowed to take two duffel bags back. The rest you put in a conex that may or may not show up in the states three to six months after you get home. I don't plan on sticking around that long to get my stuff back just to turn into the Army. The problem is that the Army issued me all this junk and I don't turn it in until I'm back in the states. They still haven't come up with a plan to get all the fillers and their stuff back home. I'm sure there is a plan at a much higher level somewhere, it just hasn't trickled down to my level yet. I'm not too worried about it though. Worst case scenario I put all my Army gear in a conex with the rest of the Brigade and have them give me a hand receipt for it. That way when it's time to turn in my gear I can tell them it's on a ship somewhere and here's the paper to prove it. That way I don't have to carry any stuff around. However it works out I know it will work out. Everything has so far.

I got two DVDs in the mail yesterday. The first one was the second half of my family's Christmas. The second one has misc stuff about my kids. I watched the Christmas one last night and I'll probably watch the other one in a day or two. It was good to watch but it was really hard at times. I didn't realize how emotionally disconnected I'd become. Again, I'm sure it's just a defense mechanism but it was good to see the family and have feelings for them. I think it'll be pretty easy to get back into the swing of family life. I've been fortunate in that I've had internet access pretty much everywhere I've been. I've been able to talk and instant message my family almost daily. Unlike the previous wars our country has had I've been able to sort of stay a part of my family's daily life in a small way. I hope that will help the reunion go a little smoother.

Just a few short months left, and there isn't a better time to leave Iraq than in the summer. It's been getting hotter each day. I think we were around 116 today. It's been really dusty too. There have been probably three or four dust storms in the last two weeks. You know the saying back in the States "Yeah, but it's a dry heat"? Well I think with the heat and the dust there should be a saying in Iraq, "Yeah, but it's a chewy heat." Not too much longer and I'll be able to take a shower without shower shoes, go to the bathroom in something other than a 200 degree green plastic box, Eat food that requires more than boiling to prepare, sleep in a room where nobody snores, nobody plays video games until 2 o'clock in the morning, and someone (not me) thinks they are a drummer so they slam drumsticks on their bed and stomp their feet as hard as they can on the floor for two to three hours at a time no matter how nicely you request them to stop and you feel the only options you have are to sleep outside or just shoot them and shooting them looks more attractive simply because your rifle is much closer than outside is, and the place I live doesn't smell like urine. Not to mention no longer worrying about being blown up, shot, kidnapped, tortured, catching some terrible disease from the water, or having to shoot merging traffic because they won't stop, or wondering which of the Iraqis are actually on your side or on the insurgent's side but the only way you'll ever know is if they shoot you or try to blow you up, or worrying that every car on the road is a bomb waiting to blow your convoy off the road. You know, just the simple things in life. That's all I ask. And you know what, some day I'll have it.