Thursday, November 02, 2006

My Blog

This is a blog I kept while I was in Iraq. I got back to the states in the middle of 2005. I've not really had any desire to post anything or talk about anything since I've been back nor have I felt like taking it down. I guess I'll leave it up for a while and see if anyone reads it. I do get e-mails from time to time mostly from people who have loved ones over there. Please feel free to read through it to get a little feel of what it was like where I was. There is also a link to a photo web site if you'd like to see some of my pictures. Leave a comment if you don't mind so I can see if anyone is really reading this.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Alright race fans, I'm back. My wife and I just got back from a cruise to Catalina Island and Ensenada Mexico. It was great, the first cruise we've ever been on. My Mom flew out to stay with our kids while we were gone. So here's the update on how I got out of the Army.

We landed in Louisiana a few days before Hurricane Rita hit. The knuckleheads that were outprocessing us decided not to make any decisions until right before the Hurricane hit. It was like they've never even heard of hurricanes in Louisiana before. So the evening the Hurricane was supposed to hit, right after they shut down all the airports, they evacuated Fort Polk. Well they evacuated everyone that didn't need an airplane. That left about 20 of us. We were living in a building on the top of a hill right until they all left. For some reason they thought it would be a much better idea to move us all into a metal building at the very bottom of a big hill. I assume it was so all the bodies could be easily found if we were all killed, or if it flooded we would be sure to wash away and then they wouldn't have to deal with us at all. When we asked about food and water they said, "Here's a pallet of MRE's and water, have fun." And then they left. We had no electricity, no communications, nothing. We just sat in the wind and rain and pitch black darkness and sweated our patooties off waiting to either be killed or for the storm to pass. Eventually it passed. While all of this was happening they had the whole Brigade except the out of state guys like me on pass. We had to stay in the stupid hurricane barracks and pine our lives away waiting for them to make up a new plan to outprocess while they were all at home with their families. They would put everyone on pass until the next Monday and they were supposed to come up with a plan so we could start outprocessing on that Monday. Instead they didn't do anything and then everyone would report back late Sunday night and form up in formation early Monday morning. Then the "Leadership" would come out and say something like, "Well, we have too many people here to outprocess so we'll put you all on pass again until next Monday. This happened twice and they still hadn't come up with a plan. So this whole time we would just sit there and wait for the next Monday to come to see if we could outprocess. Then the next Monday would come and we would do it all again. Finally they got a plan and said they would outprocess all the local guys so they could get home first and then they would take care of anyone who wasn't actually part of the Brigade like the IRR guys. Mind you these were the guys that had been on pass at their houses with their families for almost three weeks. We were the guys that were sitting with no electricity swatting mosquitoes and not seeing our families. At this point we had had it. One of the guys called his congressman and I call St. Louis and talked to the people that had recalled us. I asked them if we could go somewhere else to outprocess and they said no. It turns out that the IRR recall was such a failure that they actually closed down all the processing sites. After people started hearing that they didn't do anything to you if you didn't show up they decided to just stop the whole thing. Well, they couldn't do anything for us but somehow or another the Pentagon caught wind of it and called that evening. The instructions were very specific. "Take all the IRR guys and outprocess them tomorrow morning no questions asked!" Low and behold we were outprocessed and home in about three days. Bada Boom Bada Bing.

So there it is in a nut shell. I'll finish the game show in a few days. Life is getting back to normal around here and I'm looking forward to living a normal life again.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

I'm Home

I'm home. It took a lot longer than I had anticipated but it's finally here. One war, one hurricane and a number of life threatening situations behind me and I'm finally here. I've got a pretty interesting story to tell about how I was stranded and abandoned by the Army during Hurricane Rita and spent a number of days sitting in a pitch dark room swatting mosquitoes eating MREs and wishing I was back in Iraq. Give me a few days to get reacquainted with my family and I'll tell you all about it. I'll also finish up the lightning round. I never figured it would take this long but I've been without power or a computer for the last few weeks. Thanks for hanging in there and I promise I'll finish it up in the next few days

Monday, September 19, 2005

Almost Home

Right now I'm sitting at a computer in Kuwait waiting for a flight to the States. My experience in Iraq is officially over. I flew out of Baghdad and into Kuwait on the 17th and expect to fly out of Kuwait for the States within the next day or two. I know you are anxiously chomping at the bit to find out what the outcome of the game show is but I only have 30 minutes on the computer and it took about 29 for this page to load. Rest assured I will resolve the situation within the next few days. In order to keep your curiosity I'd like to briefly summarize a few of the details. It seems this plot of deception includes such key players as Pete Townshend legendary guitarist for the band The Who, Chuck Norris famous martial artist, and a strange contraption that, on initial investigation, seems to be a the new invention of a totally wireless catheter/cell phone. Weird I know but I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried. Well, maybe if I tried really hard. Anyway, I'll bring this whole nasty episode to a proper ending once I have a little more time at the computer. Until then I'll enjoy my last few hours in the middle east and look forward the once again inhaling the ever present air of Freedom only to be had in the God Fearing U. S. of A.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

A Striking Development

It seems that the results of the always exciting Lightning Round from the hit new game show "What Would You Do?" have been tampered with. There has been a series of very questionable events that have lead our panel of celebrity judges to launch a full scale investigation culminating in the arrest of one Jamie Good. Once the final interrogations have taken place I'll post a full account of the events and the ruling of the panel of celebrity judges. All I can say at this point is that in all my years of Game Showing I've never seen anything as sneaky and underhanded as this. But rest assured the dangerous criminal behind all this is safely locked up in an undisclosed location and will never again be able to harm another innocent game show contestant again.

Stay tuned for the full detailed report.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Back at Liberty

Well, my responsibilities have ended. I'm back at Liberty in a trailer waiting out my last days in Iraq. So far all I've done is sleep in, eat, play basketball (which I'm not very good at), eat dinner, go to sleep. That pretty much sums it up. I think we're going to go to a different camp today to visit the Mecca of all Haji shops. I've only been there once before but I remember they have a pretty good selection. The mood here is very light now that we no longer have a mission and aren't really sending guys out into the streets anymore. We had an awards ceremony the other day where one of my friends got the Bronze Star. He really deserved it. But to sum up the whole experience as they were pinning the medal onto his uniform the metal star part fell off of the cloth ribbon part and almost fell in between the wooden slats of the deck we were standing on. You have to hand it to the lowest bidder. I'm still not exactly sure when I'll actually be at my house in the States. The story on how long the out processing process will take, and when it actually starts keeps changing. It seems the hurricane has shifted a large number of forces around in the states and processing centers for guys coming back from Iraq have been affected. Oh well, it'll happen sometime. I'm not too worried.

I'll wait a few more days to turn the results of the Lightning Round over to the celebrity judges. So far only Jamie Good has turned in a response. It was very creative, however I must point out that I really like my Mother-in-Law.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Word Verification

I kept getting spam comments on my blog so I had to turn on Word Verification for the comments section. I should just add a small step to leaving a comment but I think it'll be worth it.

"What Would You Do?" The Lightning Round

It's time for everyone's favorite game show "What Would You Do?". This is the episode you've all been waiting for. It's big, it's exciting, it's more exciting than sliced bread or magic nose goblins, I'm making it up as I go. It's the always exciting Lightning Round. You remember the rules? Well I've sort of forgotten them so it'll work like this. I'll post three pictures and you, the winners of the regular game, get to come up with what you think happened after the picture was taken, or what circumstances you think revolved around the picture. After the entries are in and the celebrity judges have made their decisions I'll announce the winners along with the actual story behind the picture. Are you ready? Ok, April, Jamie Good, and Peter if you're still out there your answers are the only one that count toward the mystery prize. Everyone is welcome to participate but their answers are the only ones being judged. Your answers will be judged on originality and creativity not necessarily accuracy. As network news has proven time and again accuracy isn't really all that important anyway. Here goes!!

Picture number 1

Picture number 2

Picture number 3