Saturday, September 03, 2005

"What Would You Do?" The Lightning Round

It's time for everyone's favorite game show "What Would You Do?". This is the episode you've all been waiting for. It's big, it's exciting, it's more exciting than sliced bread or magic nose goblins, I'm making it up as I go. It's the always exciting Lightning Round. You remember the rules? Well I've sort of forgotten them so it'll work like this. I'll post three pictures and you, the winners of the regular game, get to come up with what you think happened after the picture was taken, or what circumstances you think revolved around the picture. After the entries are in and the celebrity judges have made their decisions I'll announce the winners along with the actual story behind the picture. Are you ready? Ok, April, Jamie Good, and Peter if you're still out there your answers are the only one that count toward the mystery prize. Everyone is welcome to participate but their answers are the only ones being judged. Your answers will be judged on originality and creativity not necessarily accuracy. As network news has proven time and again accuracy isn't really all that important anyway. Here goes!!

Picture number 1

Picture number 2

Picture number 3


Anonymous Anonymous said...

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5:09 AM  
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5:10 AM  
Anonymous Jamie Good said...

Picture 1
After playing a practical joke on some "friends" in his unit by saran wrapping the door to the head shut and covering the plastic with Vaseline during a bout of dysentery, John felt safe in the fact that he though no one knew it was him. His "friends", realizing John was the only one not suffering from dysentery, slowly returned the joke by squirting dissolved Dramamine in his mouth each time he slept, leaving him with unexplained nausea, blurred vision, ringing and buzzing in the ears and sensitivity to the sun.

Picture 2
Becoming disoriented in the sun and loosing his bearings while trying to walk to the mess hall, John mistakes one of his "friends" for his mother-in-law. Convinced she is a here to truly make his life a living-hell, he follows his gut instinct and pulls out his gun. Luckily the blurred vision allows him to only get of 5 badly aimed shots before he feels overcome with nausea.

Picture 3
His "friend", still suffering from dysentery, takes advantage of Johns distraction, and makes a break for the head. John sees his mother-in-law trying to escape, so he follows his next gut instinct and tackles her. The remainder of John's unit, also still suffering from dysentery, hear the shots, and see their colleagues in a scuffle on the ground and try two separate the two. All men wind up on the ground in a brawl, but the sudden burst of physical activity leave the men with no bowel control, leaving John with a smile on his face as he sees his mother-in-law rolling in shit.

And again I am not speaking from experience. :o) Although I wouldn't mind seeing my mother-in-law doing that.

But if it hurts you as much as it hurts me to see men in our Army rolling in shit, just imagine it as a French unit, makes it much easier.

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice try Jamie Good, but your attempt to correctly account for the photos has gone awry.

Photo 1: "John" is merely engaging in a routine Army dental exam. You know the spit-sucker-outer? Well that's what that is. Unfortunately, our hero, being irrationally afraid of floss, has passed out. Simple enough.

Photo 2: "John", while intimately involved in Operation Iraqi Freedom, also moonlights for Lucas Arts. This is nothing more than a screen shot of his newest first-person-shooter game "Star Wars, Knights of the Third World". In this particular screen shot, the "speeder" had taken several direct blasts from a Storm Trooper's Repeater rifle.

Photo 3: You'll have to go pretty far back to find the origin of this photo. After "John" visted his namesake one beautiful Iraqi evening to "drop the kids off at the pool", he also gave the kids some money. Yes, he dropped his wallet into the Pit of Despair. Fearing that his genuine "Nice" wallet was lost forever, he volunteered for latrine duty. (La Trineaux: French - Oh crap! We give up!) This photo is nothing more than a pile he has yet to sift through. His wallet has yet to turn up, but he has managed to acquired a fine collection of Iraqi Rolex's.

CnH's hubby

9:35 PM  
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