A Crazy Lady Lives in Our Bathroom

I've been back at Liberty for three days now. A few trailers down from mine are two trailers that sit back to back. One has toilets and sinks in it, and one has showers and sinks. These trailers are cleaned daily by a 40-50 something Filipino lady who is rumored to give soldiers "Change for a twenty" if asked. Though I've never tested the theory, nor do I plan to, I don't believe it to be true. Early on in our deployment there were two women named Fat Nora and Skinny Nora who would give soldiers "Change for a twenty." They promptly found their way to the infamous Abu Ghraib prison. So if the Crazy bathroom lady actually did give "Change for a twenty" I think she would be gone by now. Anyway, during these three days back the need to use the toilet trailer while in it's immediate vicinity has presented itself exactly four times. Of those four times She has been in the trailer all four times. Odd? Maybe not if I went at exactly the same time each day. However the times have been staggered to represent many different frames of time. Even less odd would be if she was actually cleaning each of the times. So far she hasn't been cleaning any of the times.

The first time I saw her she was just sitting on a stool relaxing. I trotted up the stairs ready to use a real toilet for the first time in about two month and there she sat.

She looked up with a smile and said, "Meester, Meester, is OK. You use. You use." and pointed to the open urinals about two feet from where she sat. With a polite shake of my head and wave of my hand I opted for the port-o-podies at the end of the row.

The second time was later that same evening. There she was again. Cleaning? No. Eating! She was just sitting on the stool with her food spread out on the counter where all the sinks are. Keep in mind that in the next row of trailers is the female latrine trailers. Why, if she wants to live in a bathroom, does she not pick those? Anyway, the same Meester Meester speech. Though the urinals are open to God and everyone there are doors on the toilet stalls so I figure what the heck. If she wants to eat her dinner while I lay my MREs to their final resting place that's her choice. So I went. That was day one.

Yesterday I woke up bleary eyed with an all to familiar pressure on my bladder. I put some shoes on and hobbled to the bathroom. There she was again. Cleaning? No.... Eating? No.... Sleeping! She was just sprawled out on the stool leaning half on the wall half on the counter in full snore. Well, You gotta do what you gotta do. So I went again.

Today, not five minutes ago, last nights lasagna came a knockin'. Do da Do da Do I trot to the crazy lady's house and sure enough there she is just sitting on the stool. I guess it's just going to be that way. I just hope she doesn't take her summer vacations in the shower trailer.