Friday, March 18, 2005

It's Your Money, You Just Can't Have It

After proof reading this it came off a lot more negative than I planned, but it makes the point so I'll leave it. Don't think I flipped my lid, I'm actually having a half way decent time here. So, here goes.

There are certain things you can do in the Army. You can not see your family for long periods of time. You can give and receive gun fire. You can slosh through muddy water mixed with raw sewage. You can even pay for your own hotel room when the Army recalls you and doesn't have room for you.

There are certain things you can't do in the Army. You can't grow a beard. You can't sleep in. You can not, contrary to popular belief, shoot someone because you think they look like an insurgent. And, you can't get your own money out of finance if you are an E7 or below.

I haven't had shampoo or deodorant for a while because I don't have any money because they don't have finance here. Today finance came through for their once a month visit. I trudged through the mud and stood in line to take out my $50.00. When it was my turn I signed in and said,

"I'd like to take out $50.00 please."

"No problem Sergeant, just take this form and have someone E7 or above counsel you on the possible impact it could have on you to use your money and then have them sign this form and then come back."

I looked around for a second to see if they were kidding.

"You're serious, I have to get someone's permission to get my own money to buy toiletries? Surely you're kidding me."

They weren't. So I walked back through the mud and got someone 5 years younger than me with no wife and no kids and has never had a job because he's still in college counsel me on the use of my money. It amazes me that I even survived out of the military. It amazes me that I am a general manager for a company that did one Billion dollars in business last year. Billion with a B, but can't manage 50 of my own dollars. It amazes me that my family even gets out of bed in the morning and eats breakfast without an E7 or above to counsel us on the possible effects of eating the cereal out of the cupboard.

"You know Sergeant, that if you eat that cereal now you won't have it later. I know it's your cereal and that you need to eat it to survive, but I don't think you are capable of making that decision on your own."

"Oh, E7 or above, thank you so much for your insight into the use of my own cereal. Whatever was I thinking wanting to eat the cereal out of the cupboard. I would be better to never touch the cereal for fear of it not being there in the future. Thank you so much for your concern when I'm being shot at, or when I have to make the split second decision to let a vehicle speed up on me and possibly blow me up, or fill the cabin full of bullets and take the chance that it wasn't a suicide bomber but just a bad driver taking her kids to school. Thank you for wasting my time having me walk across the mud to get your signature to get my own money that I earned by getting shot at. You're right, I am incapable of making a decision. Thank you Thank you Thank you."

On a lighter note, the PX is out of Shampoo and deodorant.

Whew, I feel better. I think I will write that little fictitious series on the war.

Thank you. Elvis has left the building.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unbelievable!!!!!Sometimes you are the bird and sometimes you are the statue. Guess it was your turn!It's not the war that will get you, it is the red tape. zm

8:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! We're having lots of fun these days getting ready for the auction; sorting LOTS of stuff - valuable junk at my folk's place. My oldest son loves to read your grandma's old letters, he gave this one to me the other day. It was postmarked 10-22-73, and the the outside said "Extra, Extra, Special" The inside starts out: "Hi, Hear ye! Hear ye! Don't know if you have heart. Yes, G.W.M. arrived" then gives all the details."Baby has light hair but not read and has a lot of it down the back. K says he is a dandy. K baked cookies to serve all the guests they are expecting."
"Z went to the hospital around three a.m. and he was born around 5:30 so she didn't waste any time. She said the bladder infection was worse than the baby." How does it feel to get compared to a bladder infection! HA!
S. our oldest is also enjoying the old cassetts, he found one where your grandpa sang to him and read a story. They were sent to my mom from Baltimore. This week S. found a tape marked "S." It was an interview of him by my mom when he was four! Oh, did we laught! His voice sounded just like his son, unreal! He said he worked and when asked what he did, he answered, "Oh, I make stuff out of boards". Yes, over 30 yrs. later he is a carpenter. Must have been a lifetime dream.
Be sure and tell your folks to buy you lots of sovineers at the auction (we're going to need lots of buyers).
P. had to ride the cycle yesterday, first time since New Year's. Got over 50 degrees here! YEH!
You remain in our prayers, as well as your family. Cousins P & M

9:38 AM  

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