Friday, February 18, 2005

Did He Really Do That?

My internet connection has been very sporadic lately. I mean to post more pictures, but I can't keep the connection going long enough to upload them. I'll try some more tonight.

Warning, this blogs is not for the squeamish. Do not read on a full stomach.

Yesterday I was sitting in my office working and talking to a guy who just got back from a 4 day pass to Quatar. I was asking him about what there was to do and if he had a good time. I'm the kind of person who likes to maintain eye contact during a conversation. You know that whole non verbal communications thing. Well, this guy had a whole different set of non verbal communication skills. As we're talking he keeps flirting with the edge of his nose. So I'm listening to him but in my mind pleading with him not to take the next inevitable step. Well it happened, he goes in and picks a winner. I can tell by the content of what he's saying that the conversation isn't even close to over. Oh well, everybody picks their nose though right? But there's more. As he's talking, he's rolling it in his fingers and looking at it without missing a beat in the conversation. I'm still listening but wishing I could leave or that he'd just get rid of it. You know the old saying be careful what you wish for you just might get it. Well I got my wish. He got rid of it. Right into his mouth. I know you may be thinking I'm making this up but I'm not. At this point I have no clue what he's saying. I'm still struggling to maintain eye contact, but all I can think is I just saw a 40 something year old man eat the fruits of his labor. So as I'm struggling with the notion to just feign unconsciousness to escape this conversation, or just be polite and trude through. But it gets worse, oh yes, it gets worse. How you ask, just listen.

Apparently his nose was sufficiently stripped of all nourishment so he starts to pick at what must be a sore or a scab on his head. Not just a scratch, or a rub, But a full fledged get your fingernail caught in the cracks kind of picking. This goes on for a good 10 to 15 picks when whatever it is comes loose from his head and is now in his fingers. As per his normal practice (I assume) he starts to roll the whatever it is in his fingers. Now I'm desperate. I have to terminate the conversation or .....NO, HE DIDN'T. Oh yes, he did. Just like you'd take a piece of pop corn and tilt your head back and pop that sucker in, he did. He tossed the whatever it is into his mouth. Now, it didn't go right down mind you, he chewed it for the rest of the conversation.

I'm not really sure what he did in Quatar, or what he said during the conversation, but I haven't been hungry since. And, before anyone asks, I didn't get any pictures to add to the album.

On a different note, I will be moving again, this time I volunteered. I know you're not supposed to volunteer in the Army ,but it was for the better. I'll fill you in the next installment. Right now I have to go try to scrub the stomach turning images that have been forever burned into my retinas.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can say to this entry is YUCK,YUCK,YUCK! Where is his mother? Did she ever teach him any manners? I tried not to form any mental pictures while reading this. My stomach was turning. I can't imagine how you stood it sitting there.I would have looked down and excused myself with a nature break or something to leave the room. You are braver than I.Army gotta love em. TM

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I do have a 4 yr old so the first offense is not new to me but the second. . . thanks for sharing. I will need a hot poker to get that image out of my minds eye. CnH

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was absolutely the funniest thing that I have read in a very long time! Your description was absolutely priceless. Of course guys may have a different center for humor than ladies, it was a fabulous anecdote. I had to stop reading at least three times, because I was laughing so hard. Thanks for the exercise! Blessings indeed! PF

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I don't know how to even respond to this, so therefore I won't. Ugh. M. Pads Coach

11:51 PM  

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